No, you don’t have to ‘love yourself’ before being in a relationship

Self-help Hooey - love yourself

I’m not against self-help literature. I’m a shrink, so I’m all for it. There are a few fashionable self-help myths, though, that drive me up the wall because they are not only nonsensical, but it’s actually cruel to lead others to believe in them.

So I’m creating a series of Self-help Hooey posts that expose and put right some of this silliness. I hope to make you feel a whole heap better about yourself along the way, and equip you with much better strategies.

We’re going to start with these two doozies… Read more…

Can dating give you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

Dating-Induced PTSD

My last article about Donald Trump drew an interesting response from a reader. She was experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after a nasty romantic run-in with a narcissist, and subsequently witnessing Trump’s behaviour was triggering her symptoms…

I’ve often suspected that romantic catastrophes can produce the gamut of PTSD-like symptoms. I’ve seen it in my clients, and I’ve experienced it myself. Yet we don’t seem to talk about it in those terms. Why not? Read more…

Is your boss a corporate psychopath?

Does this remind you of anyone? Superficially charming, even warm. Extreme intimidation of others. Manipulative and controlling. Bad tempered. Self-obsessed. Lacking remorse.

Then you may be working with a corporate psychopath. Contrary to popular understanding, psychopathology is not always about murderousness. It’s defined broadly as …

And there’s a surprising amount of it about. One woman in 200 is classifiable as a psychopath, as is one man in 80. Chances are, you have a psychopath in your building. Read more…