No, you don’t have to ‘love yourself’ before being in a relationship

Self-help Hooey - love yourself

I’m not against self-help literature.  I’m a shrink, so I’m all for it.  There are a few fashionable self-help myths, though, that drive me up the wall because they are not only nonsensical, but it’s actually cruel to lead others to believe in them.

So I’m creating a series of Self-help Hooey posts that expose and put right some of this silliness.  I hope to make you feel a whole heap better about yourself along the way, and equip you with much better strategies.

We’re going to start with these two doozies…   Read more…

Lies and Perception

Settled into a comfy chair in a hotel room in the 1990s, at a time when online forums were new, I was counselling my troubled and pacing friend.  He was very upset by some things that had been said about him online.

He was in the public eye just enough to garner gossipy interest from fans and hangers on.  They chatted and gossiped as if he were out of earshot, with comments ranging from the flattering, to invasive and disrespectful, to exaggerations and outrageous falsehoods.  Read more…