No, you don’t have to ‘love yourself’ before being in a relationship Self-help Hooey topic #1 - myths from pop psychology

Self-help Hooey - love yourself

I’m not against self-help literature.  I’m a shrink, so I’m all for it.  There are a few fashionable self-help myths, though, that drive me up the wall because they are not only nonsensical, but it’s actually cruel to lead others to believe in them.

So I’m creating a series of Self-help Hooey posts that expose and put right some of this silliness.  I hope to make you feel a whole heap better about yourself along the way, and equip you with much better strategies.

We’re going to start with these two doozies…   Read more…

Introverts are more easily distracted And lots more you didn't know about introverts, extroverts, and open-plan offices

Open-plan offices

Having the radio or TV on in the background drives me bat-poop crazy.  Fortunately, I and my other half have evolved a reliable arrangement that includes volume controls and a rather spiffy wireless headset.  (For him, not me.)

It wasn’t always this way.  As in any relationship, the compromises of cohabitation are negotiated and whittled over time.  Working from a nice open-plan home much of the time, at first I found myself frustratingly unproductive.  I had discovered the inherent incompatibility between the analytical nature of my business consulting and writing work, and sharing space with a stimulation-craving extrovert.  Read more…

Can dating give you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? Is Dating-induced PTSD really a thing?

Dating-Induced PTSD

My last article about Donald Trump drew an interesting response from a reader.  She was experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after a nasty romantic run-in with a narcissist, and subsequently witnessing Trump’s behaviour was triggering her symptoms…

I’ve often suspected that romantic catastrophes can produce the gamut of PTSD-like symptoms.  I’ve seen it in my clients, and I’ve experienced it myself.  Yet we don’t seem to talk about it in those terms.  Why not?  Read more…