No, you don’t have to ‘love yourself’ before being in a relationship Self-help Hooey topic #1 - myths from pop psychology

Self-help Hooey - love yourself

I’m not against self-help literature.  I’m a shrink, so I’m all for it.  There are a few fashionable self-help myths, though, that drive me up the wall because they are not only nonsensical, but it’s actually cruel to lead others to believe in them.

So I’m creating a series of Self-help Hooey posts that expose and put right some of this silliness.  I hope to make you feel a whole heap better about yourself along the way, and equip you with much better strategies.

We’re going to start with these two doozies…   Read more…

Lies and Perception When fake news & alternative facts are about YOU - how to handle mistruths & rumours

Settled into a comfy chair in a hotel room in the 1990s, at a time when online forums were new, I was counselling my troubled and pacing friend.  He was very upset by some things that had been said about him online.

He was in the public eye just enough to garner gossipy interest from fans and hangers on.  They chatted and gossiped as if he were out of earshot, with comments ranging from the flattering, to invasive and disrespectful, to exaggerations and outrageous falsehoods.  Read more…

What’s the difference between a Counsellor, a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist? And which one should you see?

Difference Between Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counsellor

In Australia Psychologist is a protected term.  Only those with specific tertiary education and training are allowed to use this job title…

Clinical Psychologists have specialised training for dealing with substantive mental illnesses…

Psychiatrists are first and foremost medical doctors.  They also have post-graduate training…

Counsellor is not a protected term, so in theory anyone can say they provide counselling services…  Read more…

Can dating give you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? Is Dating-Induced PTSD really a thing?

Dating-Induced PTSD

My last article about Donald Trump drew an interesting response from a reader.  She was experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after a nasty romantic run-in with a narcissist, and subsequently witnessing Trump’s behaviour was triggering her symptoms…

I’ve often suspected that romantic catastrophes can produce the gamut of PTSD-like symptoms.  I’ve seen it in my clients, and I’ve experienced it myself.  Yet we don’t seem to talk about it in those terms.  Why not?  Read more…

If we bag Trump, are we being mean to someone with psychological problems? And should the presidency have mental health selection criteria, like other jobs?

Donald Trump

Say what?!  This was a real question posed to me recently, while the USA’s 2016 presidential campaign was hitting peak insanity.

The questioner, in a (fleeting) moment of sympathy for what he interpreted as front and centre mental health issues in Donald Trump, contemplated whether he was, therefore, being unkind by condemning his behaviour…

Let’s look at it this way instead:  If the US Presidency were a regular job.  Before inviting candidates to apply for a job, Occupational Psychologists draw up application criteriaRead more…

Is your boss a corporate psychopath? Chances are, there's a psychopath in your building

Does this remind you of anyone?  Superficially charming, even warm.  Extreme intimidation of others.  Manipulative and controlling.  Bad tempered.  Self-obsessed.  Lacking remorse.

Then you may be working with a corporate psychopath.  Contrary to popular understanding, psychopathology is not always about murderousness.  It’s defined broadly as …

And there’s a surprising amount of it about.  One woman in 200 is classifiable as a psychopath, as is one man in 80.  Chances are, you have a psychopath in your building.  Read more…